crawfish humor
A Crayfish Story
One day Joehgah, the raccoon, was walking along. As he walked he
began to feel hungry. So, when he saw a small stream, he decided
to do some fishing.
"Maybe there is a fish under here," he said, feeling
under a large stone with his long fingers. A crayfish was hiding
there. It nipped Raccoon's finger hard with its claws.
"Eh!" Raccoon yelped, pulling his paw out from under
the stone. He reached under again. This time the crayfish nipped
two of his fingers! "Eh-heh!" Raccoon yipped, pulling
his paw out again. He was very angry. For a moment he almost forgot
how hungry he was. Then he began to think.
"You crayfish are too smart for me," he said in a loud
voice. "I am about to die of hunger and I cannot catch anything
to eat." He walked away from the stream into the woods. There
he found some sticky pine pitch and dead leaves on the ground. He
rolled in the leaves and the pitch until his fur looked very messy.
He found a rotting elm log and he bit off a piece of the rotten
wood and wedged it in his mouth, then he walked quietly back to
the stream, rolled over on his back, closed his eyes and opened
his mouth.
Some time passed and a small crayfish came out of the stream. As
soon as it saw Joehgah, the raccoon, it became frightened. "It
is Ongwe Ias, the man-eater!" squeaked the crayfish. It scooted
back into the stream and darted back under a rock. But later, when
no raccoon paws came searching for it, the crayfish became curious.
Once again it crawled to the edge of the stream bank and peeked
out. There lay Raccoon. His fur was dirty, his mouth was open and
his eyes were closed.
"Can it be that Raccoon has died?" said the little crayfish.
He crawled slowly out of the stream. Joehgah did not move. "He
is dead," said the crayfish. He jumped back into the stream
and swam as fast as he could to the place where all the other crayfish
lived. "Raccoon is dead!" he shouted. "The man-eater
is dead. Our enemy will hunt us no more!"
Hearing all the noise, the chief of the crayfish asked his warriors
to find out what was happening. Soon they came back, bringing the
little crayfish with them.
"Raccoon is dead," said the small crayfish. "His
body now lies on the bank of the stream."
"How did he die?" said the chief. He found it hard to
believe Raccoon was truly gone.
The small crayfish looked around. Many had gathered to listen.
"I killed him," he said. "It was a terrible fight.
Many times he almost had me. Finally I picked him up and threw him
on the ground. Then he died."
"Hmm," said the Chief of the crayfish. "Can you
take us to the place where you fought this great battle?"
"Yes," said the small crayfish, "and you will see
that Raccoon is dead indeed."
So the chief of the crayfish and many others went to the place
where Joehgah still lay. His eyes were closed. His feet were up
in the air. His mouth was open.
"See if he is dead," said the Chief to one of his warriors.
The warrior crayfish scuttled a few inches out of the water and
then hurried back to safety. But Raccoon had not moved.
"Yes," said the warrior crayfish, "he is dead."
"Go and pinch him," said the chief to another warrior.
The second warrior crayfish scuttled up to Raccoon. Raccoon did
not move. The crayfish reached out and grabbed Raccoon's tail hard
with his claw and twisted it. But Raccoon did not move "He
is dead," said the crayfish. But the Chief did not come out
of the water.
"Look into his mouth," said the Chief. Another crayfish
warrior came out of the water. He crawled up to Raccoon's mouth.
He crawled right inside and found the rotting wood there.
"Eh-hey!" shouted the third crayfish. "He is very
dead. He has begun to rot!"
Now the Chief was convinced. He led the others out of the water.
There were many of them and they formed a circle around Raccoon's
body. They began to dance, singing this victory song:
Jo-eh-gah, Jo-eh-gah No more will he trouble us. Jo-eh-gah, Joe-eh-gah,
No more will he trouble us.
As they sang they danced closer and closer to Raccoon. When they
were close enough, Raccoon jumped up. He grabbed to the left, he
grabbed to the right. He caught all of the crayfish and he ate them.
Then he went down to the stream and washed his paws to clean off
the pine pitch. Ever since then raccoons always wash their food
when they eat. And when Raccoon was done he smiled. "Perhaps
you crayfish are not too smart for me after all," and he went
on his way.
by Glenn Welker
Crayfish Jokes
A guy walks into a restaurant, sits down to order, and asked the
waiter does he serve crayfish. The waiter says yes. The guy says
'I'll have a pizza'. He points to a chair and says, 'and a plate
of chips for my crayfish friend here.'
Two crayfish we're talking in a bar. One says, 'how did you get
on tonight?' His fishy friend breaks into a grin and says 'yes,
I pulled a muscle.'
Submitted Joke: There was no rain for a month, and Marvin the mudbug
was dry as a bone. Marvin crawled into a yard where there was an
Olympic sized swimming pool with sparkling blue water. Marvin was
at the edge of the pool when a fat tabby cat appeared. This was
the first time the cat had ever set eyes upon a mudbug and so the
curious cat decided to keep a close watch on Marvin, just in case
the other cats asked about it. "What are you doing?",
the cat queried. Marvin said to the cat, "I am tired and dry,
and I am going for a swim." The cat said, "There is no
swimming in this pool because there is no lifeguard." Marvin
said, "How can you stop me from going in?" The cat said,
"My paw will stop you." Marvin sneered in the cat's face.
"Big deal! i already AM a 'Dad.'"
Submitted Joke: What's the difference between a crayfish and a chinese
student in Tiannemen Square?
Nothing. They are both crushedasians.
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